I’m an inveterate reader of notices. Show me a village noticeboard and I cast a critical eye over it. How many of the posters are out-of-date? What can be worse than reading all about some event you think is happening next week and finding when you get to the end of the poster it was last week? Or the details of a WI meeting that gives time and date and loads of information about the speaker but only “Village Hall” as a venue. OK if this is on a noticeboard in a remote village, you can safely assume it refers to the local village hall, but if it is in a market town like one poster I came across recently – well… spent an interesting ten minutes trying to decide which WI it referred to. Not either of two WI’s in the town – they meet in the church hall, not my own WI I do the posters. I suppose by checking the surrounding WI’s and their day and time of meeting I could work out which was the right one, but…

As well as posters on noticeboards there are also those pieces of information and non-information you find pinned up on walls and doors and sometimes even on trees. Some are reasonable “Duck eggs for sale” means what it says and usually states the price and where to put your payment.

Less useful are notices that tell you what you already know or can reasonably infer: eg that a boiler for making tea is likely to be hot or a nut roast is likely to contain nuts!

A warning that tiled floors in public loos are likely to be “slippery when wet” does seem rather superfluous. Another sign I find particularly irritating is “scalding water” often found over washbasins in public toilets. Sometimes the water is lukewarm at best and can by no stretch of the imagination be termed “scalding”. On other occasions the washbasin has no plug and so there is no way you can regulate the temperature of the water by mixing hot and cold.



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I am a poet, therefore I am crazy - see Shakespeare "the lunatic, the lover and the poet..." I also write plays and stories and do the press reports for my local WI. I ride a recumbent trike, a Hase Kettwiesel - I love it!

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